Hobos vs. The Railway Police

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Hobos vs. The Railway Police

Postby Browntown » February 12th, 2009, 1:18 pm

The year is 2045. The city of Hobotr'n continues its fight against the heavily armed Railway Police in an epic behind-the-scenes battle for freedom on the open rail. The Hobos are lead by King Steamtrain Maury IV (Patrick Stewart), while the Railway Police are commanded by Rail Captain Nails Benedict (Michael Ironside). Neither side is good nor evil and both are equally matched in a high-stakes techno-battle of cunning and futuristic weaponry. Which side do you lend your combat experience in the never ending fight for railway superiority?
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Hobos vs. The Railway Police

Postby WorldBFat » February 12th, 2009, 1:39 pm

To answer this question I need to know more about the nature of the government which employs Mr. Ironside.
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Hobos vs. The Railway Police

Postby Browntown » February 12th, 2009, 2:50 pm

The Hobos

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King Steamtrain Maury IV, played by Patrick Stewart, rules over all Hobos connected by the railways of the North American continent. He is the chief presider of Supreme Hobocourt and his word is the law. The Hobos adhear to a timeless code of unknown origin designed to keep them hidden from the world's eye and protect their way of life. "Take only what is needed to survive, avoid suspicion, and keep to the rails!" King Steamtrain would boom to thousands of cheering Hobos at the Hobotr'n Hoborally.

Hobotr'n is the Hobo capital located in an unknown state somewhere in the continental U.S near a major railyard. Hobos there do not use U.S. currency for transactions and rely on a simpler bartering system where value is assigned to an object according to its usefulness and functionality alone. For example, gold jewelry is too soft and malleable to construct a proper shanty so it is useless to Hobos who do not specialize in Hoboelectronics. Naturally, steel is quite valuable indeed. Hobotr'n has an assortment of railcars that are used to slip in and out of the nearby hub for the transport of goods and supplies via a cleverly constructed and carefully hidden stretch of track. Once a month, the Hobo Ambassador is sent into the big city with a supply of outworld currency. He returns by rail with necessary supplies and rations that can only be purchased in town and may not be accessible by normal "rail shopping" techniques.

All is well and pleasant among Hobodom until November 10, 2045 when the Hobo Ambassador's car returns to the eager Hobos, waiting to unload their monthly town treasures. The doors slide open to reveal that the Hobo Ambassador has taken the Westbound (HE'S DEAD!)! Badly beaten, a knife sticks from his chest. When the body is brought back to town, King Steamtrain (Patrick Stewart) removes the blade, loosing a grim message: "The Hobos are finished. ~RWP." Outraged, Steamtrain retreats to his study to ponder the best course of action for his freeloading peoples.

That night an emergency Hobocouncil is held to discuss the King's hardwrought decision. There is no doubt the Railway Police are behind the attack. They've been staunch antagonists to the Hobos' way of life for centuries but never has a a Steamtrain been witness to such a threat that could very well be the end to Hobos everywhere. "They know we are here, and they want us to know they know!" Steamtrain says with the kind of conviction only a Patrick Stewart figure could convey, "The Hobos are going to war!"
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Hobos vs. The Railway Police

Postby Browntown » February 12th, 2009, 3:29 pm

The Railway Police

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Rail Captain Nails Benedict (Michael "Mikey" Ironside) heads the most powerful and secretive government agency in United States history. Founded in 1855 with the help of Abraham Lincoln, who was a lawyer for the Illinois Central Railroad before becoming president, The RWP was given jurisdiction over the entire country's railway systems as an extention of the U.S. Marshals. A loophole was artfully written into the U.S government's never-ending contract with the Railway Police allowing them to act independantly of any other U.S. agency and exercize any degree of law enforecment deemed necessary, limited only by the rails themselves. The media never reports on RWP activity, and it never will. Now, 190 years later, the Railway Police continue to operate hidden in plain sight across the entire nation's most dangerous transit system.

Little is known about Rail Captain Nails Benedict himself, not suprising due to the low level of records kept by the department. It was rumored that the RWP's database actually surpasses that of the FBI's, however the two do not cooperate in the apprehension (or summary execution) of wanted criminals. Members of the FBI's Most Wanted list soemtimes appear dead near the tracks, bagged and tagged by a local police department, a "present" for the FBI. Naturally none of this can ever be proven and many still do not believe that the Railway Police even exist at all.

The Rail Police have always upheld their beliefs and contrary to what most people believe, they actually do have the nation's best interest at heart. They are determined to stamp out crime on the railways and eliminate free ticket riders. Naturally there is a long standing rivalry between the Railway Police and The Hobos, who are both equally skilled at remaining hidden from public view. The Hobos never got out of line and train crime has been at an acceptable level for years. Benedict's reputation has never been stronger. Until recently...

There was a report of a major train heist in the Oregon bush. Rail Police arrive on the scene to discover that several Best Buy rail cars have been completely cleaned out. The train operator was badly injured but knew beyond the shadow of a doubt who commit this heinous crime due to the fingerless gloves he remembered punching his face. It was The Hobos. Rail Captain Benedict had what he was looking for: a reason to pool his resources and exterminate the Hobo scourge plaguing this great country once and for all. The greatest war the world has never seen was about to begin.
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Hobos vs. The Railway Police

Postby El Capitano » February 15th, 2009, 5:38 pm

I take neither side and work to uncover the true perpetrator of the Best Buy heist and the murder of the Ambassador.

It's all too convenient, and I suspect that there is a third party behind the scenes trying to play the two powerful groups off each other. Why? It's obvious: control of the nation's rails, and hence the world.
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Hobos vs. The Railway Police

Postby Browntown » February 16th, 2009, 12:14 pm

This is a fine stance to take and I'm sure everyone is curious as to who the real Best Buy train robbers are...

The truth is, as the story progresses, that a group of rogue Hobos commit the crime. A younger, inexperienced generation of Hobos living in Hobotr'n chose to ignore the code and disobey King Steamtrain. They became greedy and saw an opportunity to satisfy their selfish desires for teenage rebellion. King Steamtrain finds this out later in the movie and is sorely disappointed in the youths who inadvertantly started a major conflict with the RWP. The Hoboteens learn their lesson and vow to never break the code again, and eventually prove themselves in the eyes of Steamtrain through honor and loyalty to the Hobo cause, through righteous battle!

Third parties have tried heir hand at railway life but have never been able to effctively find their niche between the organized and well established Hobos and Rail Police. Most encumbants to the rail find themselves siding with one or the other, assimilated into this age old conflict from which heroes are born.
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Hobos vs. The Railway Police

Postby Browntown » February 25th, 2009, 1:35 pm

"We must alert our Hobo brothers of these dire circumstances!" King Steamtrain explodes, "HOBOS! Take up your Hobo chalk. I want you to etch this symbol onto every rail crossing, train station, and Hobo camp you see."

Steamtrain stretches his arm to a nearby wall and slowly draws a strange symbol none of the other Hobos had ever seen before:
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No one needed to ask what this meant, but all knew it was pretty bad.

"Go now! Rally our comrads! We must prepare for battle!" Steamtrain's command was delivered magnificently. Only Patrick Stewart himself could have said it better.

The rails are alive with activity. Hobotr'n is abuzz with welding sparks and arms preparations. Guns and ammunition flow into the city from rail heists and are in turn modified with Hobo technology. Multiple weapon types are fused together, ammo clips expanded, shields crafted, helmets wired to car batteries to power Hobo biosystems, and gunpowder is poured into masterfully constructed Hobonades. The sight is glorious to behold. You can't help but be impressed by the inginuity these Hobos display. There is a railgun which predictably shoots rail spikes, but it is still amazing. Even a scrap cannon that blasts shards of metal and junk with enough force to punch a hole through a sidecar!

Standing high upon a tin rooftop, everyone performing their designated tasks, King Steamtrain turns west to face the setting sun.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The Railway Police have got their hands full. There has been a large spike in railway theft over the past week and many of the U.S. Army's weapon shipments have been showing up light. The Secretary of Defense, Irving VelJohnson, is starting to ask questions...

"I thought our nations railways could be trusted, Benedict!"

"Believe me sir, we're doing everything we c-"

"ENOUGH!" VelJohnson interrupts sharply, "Military weapons have gone missing on U.S. soil! Are you aware of what this can do to me!? What this WILL do to YOU!?!? You're telling me that Imperial grade Class A-51 assault weaponry has fallen into the hands of these... HOBOS!?"

"Yes sir." Rail Captain Nails replies, barely supressing his exceeding annoyance with the Secretary.

"You fix this... You fix this NOW! I want my GOD DAMN WEAPONS B-***** ********"

"What's that sir? I can't hear you, the signal is getting fuzzy. I'm losing you." Nails Benedict doesn't take shit from nobody, and he sure as shit doesn't let any damned Hobos cause him embarassment.
"MiG, get in here!"

MiG-29, a seven foot tall cybernetic Russian and Nails' right hand promptly enters the room, locking into position, always at attention.

Nails puts his foot through a fishtank! "Take Alpha squad and go to Iowa. The number of trains running through there is too high. Something is going on and I need to know what."

"Of kourse, Kaptain. I will take kare of this immediately." The half-metallic Russian responds, cooly.

MiG turns to leave but before he reaches the door Nails opens his desk drawer. "Oh and take this with you..." Nails tosses him a small can of oil, "I wouldn't want you to get rusty."

MiG gives a sly smirk, "Don't worry Kaptain, I never rust in a storm."
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